By: Qadria Azaranosh
Translated by: Mohammad Rezaie
When I was 15, I wished to become a president and at that time, I found a job in a TV channel as an intern. Though I was very young, I had big dreams. Beside working, I was a student and read history and geography subjects more than other ones. The history books of school were full of suppressive narratives and stories. It was not a subject to enjoy reading it except the adventure of murdering Nader Shah by Khaliq Hazara; I had put myself in place of Khaliq for several times. from that time, I decided to study hard at school, learn a foreign language, and go to another country, get a bachelor’s degree and then return back to Afghanistan and clean it from a dirty, mud and corrupt and a male history.
Very soon, I was studying at university; I gradually realized that the childhood dreams were not that much sweet that I thought because realizing them needed to face many challenges. It was not easy for a woman from Hazara ethnic group to become a president in a structure full of gender and ethnic based discriminations. It was a reality that I tried to accept it. However, the hope to become a president was a live in my heart until when I and my friends gathered in Pul e Sorkh square in a spring day. All of us were worried. One of us had received Iran’s visa and had packed her back pack, the other one was worried about her passport and the last one did not know which one of her concerns shall be prioritized. “Kabul will collapse soon. We shall leave Kabul before it collapses. Because Taiban will kill all of us on the first day. ” One of my friends stated. “You are right but what shall we do? Were shall we go? Another friend inquires. My other friend is more optimistic “Kabul will not collapse this soon. It is not such easy.” She says. All of us drank our coffees and went home. The next day was August 15. A tragic event had happened! Kabul had collapsed. It was hard to accept it. I had lost the time and kept telling myself “It is a nightmare and is not a fact.” All of the people were disappointed and hopeless. Struggling in the mid of this unbelievable truth made the men to ride on the wing of an airplane evacuating the people which portrayed a picture of Armageddon.
On the night of 15 August, Dr. Abdullah announced on media that Ashraf Ghani had fled the country and Taliban had seized Kabul, the capital of Afghanistan.
After the Taliban takeover, I stayed in Kabul for 4 months and during this period my friends were leaving Kabul one after another. I did not go out; because I did not like to wear that long black dress and also, I kept saying to myself we must stand against Taliban and do not allow it to Talibanize Afghanistan and create a monotonicity country. We shall stay together; because living in a swamp will smear us with mud and does not ensure security in the country.
We were a generation that laughed, cried, and protested, and was killed and sometimes was attacked by suicide bombers with no objections. When we just said equality, we were sidelined. Though we had no share of political power, but were beheaded in happiness and sorrow of the politicians.
On the other hand, in a land that patriarchy, mis treatment of women and injustice against women has a long history, violence is the eminent part of women’s lives; women who are born with violence, grow with violence and die with it. How one can continue in such a situation!?
Now, after two years of the collapse of republic, home is the only safe haven for women and every night, I instead of dreaming to become a president, hear the cries of my nephews and sisters who no longer can go to school or university.
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