By: Zainab Mobarez
This story illustrates one of the common problems that the girls of our country face, becoming victims of greed.
*Sometimes, they are sold to make money,
*Sometimes their beauty becomes a headache and they are trapped by lustful men.
*Sometimes, even their own rights are violated, let alone the rights of others.
*Sometimes, they have to bury all their dreams with themselves.
*Sometimes their right to education, work, and freedom is taken away from them.
*Sometimes, they are locked up at home and…!
Maah Jabin was a girl who due to her father’s traditional beliefs, had to marry someone she didn’t want to. She was beautiful with big blue eyes, long hair, tall stature, intelligent, and clever. She had many suitors, but she never thought about getting married. All her thoughts were focused on achieving success. Maah Jabin loved singing, acting, and writing because she knew her traditional and narrow-minded family didn’t have a favorable view of these fields. She focused more on writing than acting and singing. She always sang and danced to herself. One morning, she put her book aside from the wooden chair next to the window in her room, opened her closet, put on a blue silk dress that reached her ankles, tied a thin silk scarf around her head like a cloud, and with a smile full of hope and joy, walked towards the yard. At that moment, while spiraling and humming, she lifted her head to the sky with a laugh. Her eyes were like music rhythms that locked onto each other.
She lost herself in this worldly noise, as if she could see nothing. Her heart was warmed by the power of her hands, which seemed to be the most powerful hands that day. She twirled around so much that her silk clothes were no longer dry under the raindrops without flowers. But this was still heaven for her, which she had created in her imaginations. Her fallen hair was deeply linked to her heart. She spun so much that these spins reminded her of the dance of Sama, but who was she spinning for? She said to herself, “Molana spins in memory of Shams, but who am I spinning for?” Many people have a place in my life, but I’m not spinning for anyone! Instead, she was spinning for herself, dressed up in her own wishes, laughing at her desires. With such joyfulness, she laughed so much that she felt that it might be her last laugh.
She was the imaginary girl and was dancing for herself…. Maah Jabin was lost in her imaginations, which were cut off by the sound of her mother’s voice.
_”Daughter, Maah Jabin, come and make a cup of tea for your father.”
_”I’m coming, mother.”
Maah Jabin picked up the tray of tea and went to the room where her father was.
_”Hello, dear father.”
_”Hello, my daughter.”
Maah Jabin put the tea tray on the ground and wondered about the bundles of money her father was counting. She wanted to ask him where all this money had come from. Her father said, _”Maah Jabin, in two days, you will marry Haji Ibrahim’s son.”
_”What? My wedding!?”
_”Yes, my daughter, we want to marry you to Haji’s son. Be happy with a rich husband, my dear daughter.”
_”Please, dad, I don’t want to get married. I want to study to get my master’s and PhD and fulfill my dreams and goals. I promise to study well and become successful. Everyone says, Bravo to the daughter of Karbalai Nabi (a saying praising the daughters of Karbalai people for their bravery).”
_Hahahaha, what are you saying girl! Do you know what the neighbor’s wife told your mother yesterday? You blackened us in the alley. All the neighbors say that the Karbalai’s girl is a sour house. They say you are a burden. They say that we don’t understand what’s wrong with Maah Jabin, that she doesn’t get married and you always say you want to study; but now there’s no university, no studies, no job. So how do you expect to study anymore? what’s your answer my daughter? why don’t you marry? what’s the reason? or have you chosen someone else?
_” Oh, dear father, I swear to Allah, I have chosen no one. My whole mind and thoughts are focused on my studies. Believe me, father, I’m not lying. Well don’t pay attention to what people say. I am wise enough now! ”
_”What are you talking about, you disrespectful girl? Have you lost respect for your father? Instead of kissing my hand, that I find a rich husband for you, you say you don’t want to get married? And now you are 21 years old. Studying is useless for you. My daughter you have grown up and you should be a housewife now.”
_”It doesn’t matter if I am twenty-one or eighty-one, whoever stops learning will become old. Whoever keeps learning will stay young forever. The most important thing in staying young is to keep your mind active…! I believe in this father”
_” Are you mature? Your uncle’s daughter married at 16 and she has 2 children.
_” Is your decision really serious, marrying me to a man who is as old as you, father? Is it because of their wealth? Money doesn’t bring happiness, dear father. Please don’t force me to marry with someone like him. I will accept anything you say, just don’t make me to marry him.
_” My decision is serious, my daughter. Talking won’t change anything. I have given my word to that man, it’s over and I won’t take it back. Now go and prepare yourself for the wedding.”
_” Father, I am not willing and I won’t accept this marriage. If you force me, I will kill myself! Life without fulfilling my dreams is worse than death.
Mah jabin left the room and hurried towards her own room. Strangely, she held her knees and sobbed. She cried so much that her eyes were full of tears. With swollen eyes and a lump in her throat, she leaned against the wall and fixed her gaze on the window. Like a melting candle, her eyes locked onto her diary, where all her wishes and dreams were waiting. She opened a blank page of her diary and started writing. These were the last words Mah jabin wrote:
Beautiful Mah jabin then hanged herself with all her wishes and dreams. The last words and writings of Mah jabin were, “My merciful God! What should I tell you? The girls of this land? Or me, the strong, brave, and powerful girl who hides thousands of pains behind a smile? Or me, the hopeful one? Should I tell the girls of this land that their innocent voice cannot be heard? Or should I tell about the girls who take all their dreams to the grave? Or about the fortunate ones? Or about the moon-like ones? Or about the girls who went to the grave with their wishes? God, my heart is crying… Crying for this homeland… Crying for the girls… Crying for myself…
Sometimes I am fed up of being strong… Sometimes I am fed up of being brave… Sometimes I don’t want all this patience… My heart wants your warm embrace, my Lord! I’m coming to you, my Lord! Forgive me.”
The End.
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